I didn’t know what to title this entry because I thought I would just write and see where it takes me. I haven’t felt like writing much recently as I haven’t be 100% and I have felt super unmotivated, fatigued and tired. The hubster has now been furloughed but is still doing training for his job so we are down some money each month. It could be worse, it could be better. We will apply for the mortgage break. So many people are in similar situations. It is tricky at the moment because I am a stay at home mum with 1 year old twins which means he is the only monetary provider. I have applied for a couple of jobs at supermarkets, got turned down by one and haven’t heard from the other, then I had to properly self isolate due to being ill and now I am out of that, what do I do next? How do I proceed with life? I worry that the babies aren’t getting enough stimulation now and although I didn’t do loads of baby classes, I went out every day, I took them to the library, to the odd baby class here and there, to see the ducks, to see the animals at our local garden centre, I took them into town, took them shopping. Had visitors round. Went to see people but now I have to rethink things because I worry so much that this lack of stimulation will effect them developmentally. I try so hard to make things interesting, I am glad the sun is shining. I feel like I am leaning towards the negative again at the moment and worrying lots and I think it is because I have just heard that the prime minister is in intensive care. The leader of our country, the one we are counting on. I know there are many people behind him but it was a shock I have to say. I am going to follow that news with something completely inappropriate and benial because I want to end on something postive. I made brownies this evening which means I have more energy which means I am feeling better. So this entry was my thoughts in this moment put on a virtual page. Done.
Tag: lockdown
Diary Entry #8 Birthdays
So it is my twins birthdays today. A special birthday, their first birthday, except it wasn’t special. I had plans to go to Nottingham (where my parents live – where I grew up) and have family around, hubsters family too. It was all planned out, invitations were sent. We would visit a farm, followed by a buffet. I was to bake them cakes myself and the family would see them open presents. But in reality, I wrapped their main present from us that morning in a rush because Atti (my son, boy twinny!) and I were ill the night before and he was in meltdown mode not long after being put down to sleep which ended with me rocking him like a newborn until he fell asleep (some calpol before that too, poorly boy!) And then I fell asleep when I should have been wrapping his present. Today was full of moaning babies and snot and me being exhausted and ill and the babies feeling the same way. We tried to make the most of their already doomed birthday and video called my parents, ride on a tractor outside and a read of their fave book but really birthday or not, it was one of those rubbish days! I hope we can still do their party and give them the day that they deserve after all this stuff is over…even if they may be nearly 2 by then! I feel guilty writing this because people have had to cancel their weddings, people are dying for goodness sake and here I am rambling on about the twins birthday and they don’t even understand that it is their birthday. But I needed to get it out, I needed to get it out of my system and put it to bed. A small niggle that is done. Tomorrow is a new day and my chocolate mug cakes are due from Amazon. Hoorah for treats galore, it was only available on a bulk buy of 6! and there are 2 in each packet and if my maths serves me correctly that is 12 mug cakes in total! Should keep me going for a day or two?
Diary of a mad women 