Diary Entry #9 Untitled

I didn’t know what to title this entry because I thought I would just write and see where it takes me. I haven’t felt like writing much recently as I haven’t be 100% and I have felt super unmotivated, fatigued and tired. The hubster has now been furloughed but is still doing training for his job so we are down some money each month. It could be worse, it could be better. We will apply for the mortgage break. So many people are in similar situations. It is tricky at the moment because I am a stay at home mum with 1 year old twins which means he is the only monetary provider. I have applied for a couple of jobs at supermarkets, got turned down by one and haven’t heard from the other, then I had to properly self isolate due to being ill and now I am out of that, what do I do next? How do I proceed with life? I worry that the babies aren’t getting enough stimulation now and although I didn’t do loads of baby classes, I went out every day, I took them to the library, to the odd baby class here and there, to see the ducks, to see the animals at our local garden centre, I took them into town, took them shopping. Had visitors round. Went to see people but now I have to rethink things because I worry so much that this lack of stimulation will effect them developmentally. I try so hard to make things interesting, I am glad the sun is shining. I feel like I am leaning towards the negative again at the moment and worrying lots and I think it is because I have just heard that the prime minister is in intensive care. The leader of our country, the one we are counting on. I know there are many people behind him but it was a shock I have to say. I am going to follow that news with something completely inappropriate and benial because I want to end on something postive. I made brownies this evening which means I have more energy which means I am feeling better. So this entry was my thoughts in this moment put on a virtual page. Done.